Terrible/Perfect

Chicken and some other stuff salad

My parents sent me home with a ton of very tasty chicken yesterday, which was super nice of them. I eat meat now, but actually pretty rarely. I purchase a couple pieces of meat maybe once a month. I really just eat it when I'm out and at gatherings. But, I had chicken and garlic green beans for dinner tonight, and I will have chicken lunches this week! Veggies, veggies, fruit and chicken.

I had a shamefully unhealthy first half of pregnancy, diet-wise. I'm quite certain that I will always blame any issues the boy has on all the processed foods and junk foods with their additives and preservatives I took in while he was trying to write code in there. Thankfully I got over whatever my problem was and have been making up for lost time. I'm going to try to go sugar free (mostly, I do have a kid's birthday party to throw before he's born, and at least one more bowl of strawberry shortcake to eat before the season is over) for the last three months, and getting aggressive about nutrient intake (ie., I'm eating a lot of everything that grows). I'm going to treat him like he deserves from here on out. As a side benefit, it would also be nice if he wasn't bigger than his sisters at delivery. They weren't small.

So.

I made this made-up chicken salad for tomorrow. Sliced chicken, homemade kraut (shredded red cabbage and carrots, garlic), shredded beets, cashews, basil. Dressed in mayo and a little honey (allowable, says me). I think tomorrow I'll throw in some chopped fresh cherries (it seems like that would be a bad idea beforehand; dried would be fine, but not fresh?). I mean...these all sound like good things. I tasted it a little and, as I hoped, the kraut flavor basically steps in for what would be lemon juice or mustard or something in regular chicken salad. I don't know, I've never made regular chicken salad. Anyway, I'm kind of afraid to try it for some reason.

Oh please, be tasty, you lurid pink thing.

Oddments

Ha! Yeah. What's up.

Oddments!

1. Good week. Fun work times. I'm working this week! Weird. The kids come with me, though, so not really weird.

2. Also bad, strange week, but I can hang with sorrow and serious concern for other people without losing my mind. I would like to be helpful, though, if and when I can. 

3. The changes we made in the household routine in advance of Mr. Baby's expected fall arrival have been AWESOME. Things could not, could not, be better with the girls. They're fighting and being obnoxious kids, but with very early bed times netting them 11-12 hours of sleep their obnoxiousness is now just really normal, easy-to-bear stuff, ebbing and flowing throughout the day. The big one in particular has completely stopped having the period she used to have every day where she'd be out of her mind from 3 p.m. until whenever she finally was able to fall asleep, often later than 10 p.m. That is a loooooooong part of a day to be out of your mind. She is so very level now (though still a whiney, emotional kid; this is not touching her base personality, which is fine, obviously). She's out at 7:30 every night, and up shortly after 6 a.m. shining-faced, snuggly and ready to start her day. Lovely. Sigh.

4. I decided to structure our meal times, too, and that has been a home run. Wow. I resisted doing so for years because it seemed pointless and over-controlling (telling someone she can't eat seemed like telling someone she can't use the bathroom) but it has turned out to be enormously positive. Basically, they eat at 7 a.m., 9:30 a.m., 12 p.m., 2:30 p.m. and 5 p.m., give or take. I can't find the link, but I remember the kids' health paperwork from the doctor's office saying "You decide what and when kids eat, they decide whether and how much." That's our drill. I offer small amounts to start, they don't have to eat anything, and if they need it, they can have more. Oh, and they have to eat sitting at the table, for meals and snacks. I noticed right away that my big kid, who has always been a very picky eater, was really tucking into her dinners, which are often the heartiest, most protein-rich meals served in our home. She's cleaning her plate of good protein-rich dishes and big salads. Two quotes from recent days: 

"Thank you for that unpureed lentil soup! It was delicious." (I'd served wild rice and garbanzos for dinner, not sure where the lentil thing comes in)

"What are you making, mom?" "Hummus." "Oh, yum! Can I pleeeeeease have some with a bunch of carrots?"

HUZZAH. The little, tiny bit of waiting they have to do sometimes to sate their hunger seems really helpful. My best guess is that coming into a snack or meal hungry makes everything more appealing, so it's not a problem that I'm only serving healthy foods. I also think it should prevent eating from boredom (this is a problem of mine; I'm not as strict with myself on the schedule because of the pregnancy, but having some kind of structure has already helped me a great deal). Ultimately they'll be on their own food-wise, as teenagers and adults, so right now it's my job to help them build the best possible habits, and I think having some structure to eating can be a positive limitation. Oh! I also make sure they have access to lots of water.

5. They had cotton candy at the fair, by the way. And ice cream at an ice cream social. Another bonus of a righteously complete diet is that I don't stress at all about them having the sometimes, weekend treats they love. Ain't no thing when they're getting ample amounts of what they need, especially all those phytochemical-rich whole vegetable foods, all week long. Woot!

6. I have ten quarts of berries in my freezer so far. I don't really have room for much more. I am looking forward to buying a storage freezer for next year. I have goals, my friends. Serious goals.

7. This Wikipedia entry on "superfruits" is funny. And sad. Fruit, on the other hand, is, I'm quite sure, manna.

8. I threw an avocado that was shrinking out of its skin into my hummus, and it is delicious. Definitely extra creamy. The big kid won't touch avocados (so naturally the little one eats a whole one, cut out of its skin into fat slices, for breakfast several times a week) but didn't detect even a hint of it in the hummus. You will take that fatty nutrition whether you want it or not, kid!

9. I feel incredibly lucky to have a local commercial tayberry grower. Oh sweet, sweet mercy it is a beautiful berry. I made six jars of tayberry jam this week and it's so complex and special it makes me weep.

10. I don't think I have anything to say about anything that isn't food right now. Hmm. I'll go ahead and sign off.

KISS

LOOK AT THESE! GAHH! You shut your face, raspberries. You sicken me.

No, you don't. I love you.

The ones in the top right corner taste like perfuuuuuuuuume.

Ahem.

I wanted to go back for a second and clarify my last post a bit: I don't really think my choices are between organic sprouted raw almonds and Cheetos, or between just-picked-this-morning heirloom beets and McDonald's french fries. When I hit the markets I'm really choosing between organic cherries and conventionally grown cherries, Ranch dressing for my kids to dip their carrots in that has sodium benzoate and MSG and Ranch dressing that doesn't. And, more importantly, between spending a portion of my food dollars on nutrient-poor food, or buckling down and keeping all the dollars available for fresh food. I was being hyperbolic. I usually am.

So, I made some observations today, looking at food in this season of shoving it in my mouth fresh and raw with the abandon of every civilization that has stood at its teetering pinnacle of blood-drunk power and convinced itself that one last bite of empire won't hurt, and wanted to add a few thoughts.

A thought, anyway.

If you aren't made of money, if you don't roll up hundred dollar bills and stick them in your ears and go pttttttttthptttt, if you're a student or a wage slave or a single mum or a low-income couple or on disability or you're trying to stick it out at home while your babies are under six years old, even though financially speaking you shouldn't, 'cause the thought of leaving them all day makes you retch (ahem), it really, really helps if you can do the whole "Keep It Simple, Stupid" thing with food.

I've come back around, thanks to market abundance and a return to the natural mindfulness of summer eating, to some very basic principals. Beans and brown rice are your friends. They're just as cheap and much better for you than pasta. A bowl of steel cut oats, even the organic kind, is, like, 25 cents. Even then, maybe you can buy organic, maybe you can't, but fresh fruits and veg are really a must. And so, so easy. Cutting up potatoes and baking them for "fries" is cheaper than any other way of getting french fries into your face short of grabbing someone's plate at an outdoor bistro and making a run for it. As far as the daily chore of keeping your tummy from growling at you, it truly does not get any easier than grabbing a big handful of walnuts, a couple of whole carrots and a piece of fruit on the way out the door, and I'm pretty sure that's about the same calorie profile as a diet frozen dinner. There are TONS of extremely simple yet whole, natural food combinations that are the budget AND health conscious person's friend. Cottage cheese with a fresh peach sliced in. Hummus, spinach, sliced onion and sunflower seeds in a sammich. Grabbing that hot deli chicken when it's 1/2 off at 7 p.m. and having roast chicken and beets for dinner, making chicken salad for lunch, and then putting by some soup stock. 

Keeping what hits the table really simple and doing a bit of planning ahead is revolutionary. This week I had marinating tofu and cooked rice in the fridge ready for a fridge-to-table-in-15-minutes meal of baked tofu, rice, broccoli (roasted while the tofu baked), and some cherries 'cause om nom nom nom. This also keeps things cheap. Cheap, and not much more difficult than making a box of macaroni. But nutritionally speaking? Light years apart.

Some other strategies that have helped us A LOT lately are making strict meal times, requiring the kids to sit at the table to eat, making FULL (over-full, we need more) use of all of our Pyrex by bringing our own food with us everywhere, and tracking what's super perishable in the fridge. Easy, once the habit energy has developed, but hugely effective in terms of keeping us on budget. 

Ultimately, we're only going to be able to rock this whole foods thing while we're a one income family if we're crafty like the ninja. If we insist on really basic whole foods snacks, simple meals, zero waste. We're lucky enough to be able to buy that flat of organic raspberries to freeze, but if we weren't we could also rely hugely on Clean 15 produce, leaning heavily on what's currently discounted in the supermarkets, maybe deciding to sometimes eat the Dirty Dozen or splurge on their organic counterparts, whatever we could make happen.

My point is, it's not impossible. People on limited incomes shouldn't feel like they don't have options, that they're resigned to eating dead shelf food if they don't want to (and maybe you want to; again, there is absolutely something to be said for washing down Jalapeno Cheetos with a bottle of Coke, it's just that "This meal is likely to support optimal health" is not it). It's partially a budget issue, but also attitude and conditioning: how do I eat? What is food?

Like I said before, I'm not a paleo kid, but it really does help to kind of imagine you're out gathering in the market. Pull up a root here, pick a berry there, glean some grain (or if you're a hunter, get yourself some dripping bloodmeats). Simple, and, on this end here, lusting after red, red berries and marveling for the billionth time at the candy sweetness of a Rainier cherry once I've kicked sugar (again), satisfying as all get out. Go figure.

Self preservation

Food, glorious food. It's high growing season right now. When walk into the farmer's market I want to buy one of everything. It's all flush and glorious. We've had some luck in our backyard garden this year, too, although we started out on a very small scale with just sugar snap peas, kale, nasturtiums and beets. I'm a novice gardener so I didn't want to overextend myself. Thankfully it's been brilliant (cool) pea weather and despite a far too thin planting (I learned late that they like to be crowded in close, an inch apart) I've been pulling a half pound of crisp sweet mange tout off the vine every day. This afternoon I decided to take my chances with a late planting and filled in between, so my fingers are crossed for snap peas into October.

I've been doing a bit of soul searching recently about food. We have been doing a stellar job tracking expenses (I'm not being sarcastic) and it turns out that the only (yay!) overspending areas are gas, recreation and groceries. The first two are pretty easy fixes (a combination of having Mr. Terrible run errands by bike and setting aside more in the budget for gas, and simply being more careful to keep the tiny little entertainment dollars marching in line) but the groceries are a real problem.

Today I sat down with my receipts and went over everything carefully, looking at what it really costs to make a meal. As it turns out, more than I'd thought, or hoped.

The thing is, I've compromised in many ways to make this stay-at-home parent thing work during my kids' early years. We have hacked back and whittled and made do and done without, and I've grown accustomed to simply not wanting things quite so much. As far as I'm concerned, it's been a fair trade.

But when it comes down to food, the actual fuel we're running our bodies on, trying to reconcile our income with my convictions about the value of organic whole foods is trying to square the circle. We either buy cheaper calories in the form of processed foods and conventionally grown produce, or we somehow spend more on groceries.

It will be the latter. Everyone makes their own choices in this arena, and it's none of my business what other folks put on their tables. Judging doesn't suit anyone. Some folks can afford organic and choose not to buy it, some can't afford fresh fruits and vegetables whether they're organic or not. Do what you wanna gotta do. But for us, I am not keen on growing a fetus or a preschooler or a school kid on organophosphates, or preservatives, or artificial colors, or laboratory food additives of any kind. And that is, very unfortunately, what's in the coupon food, in the weekly special, in the loss leaders.

I'm not going to go that route to make our budget work. We'll make different sacrifices and choices. I feel encouraged by this year's gardening. We can (and will) put in more backyard sweat next year and supplement our diets as much as possible with homegrown. I will take up my friend's offer to pick apples on her homestead, which I will sauce and can. I will probably find a part-time job.

All of this is, to some extent, based on a belief in one thing over another. I'm not a locavore, I don't eat a paleo diet, I'm not a vegan, I don't really have a thing. But I do believe completely that fresh, whole, uncontaminated food is what the human body evolved on. I don't believe that foods with pesticide residues are harmless, nor do I believe that eating a diet that includes anything beyond token amounts of processed and junk (nutritionally dead) foods is safe. That's not me on a high horse. I like McDonald's french fries. I like Cheetos. I'm fat not because I've been scarfing too many u-pick blueberries, I'm fat because my diet has included a very great deal of junk foods. Everyone is free to choose, within their ability to make choices. It's just that we find ourselves cutting down to the very bone of it: these little dollars can buy one thing, but not the other. They buy either just enough whole foods calories, or abundant processed ones. And I find that given a choice between freely eating Cheetos and figuring out the per-ounce cost of almonds, I am going to choose the latter.

There is no substitute for beautiful, clean food, any more than there is a substitute for sufficient sleep, good fresh air or clean water. Because we are fortunate enough to be able to do so, we will cobble together a family diet based on best quality fruits, vegetables, nuts, grains and legumes (with some help from the Dirty Dozen and Clean 15 lists), come hell or high water. I'm going to do continue to expand on labor intensive, penny saving activities like growing my own vegetables and canning peaches and making yogurt and buying peanut butter by the case to get 10% off and getting a storage freezer.

I'm talking about drawing a line in the sand, Dude. This line, you do not cross.

(The peas are so, so good, by the way.)

In Which There is Snow in July

We went camping! Hmm.

I'm a bad news first sort of person, so here's the bad news.

For starters, the site I chose online looked exquisitely beautiful. And it is. Here is the river as it runs just past the site's fire grill and picnic table:

So beautiful. This is the Ohanapecosh River, which runs clear and aquamarine from its source near the Ohanapecosh Glacier on Mount Rainier in Washington State.

So, so beautiful I'll bet if I just stand right here and turn my body to the left it will be just as beautifulOHMYGOD!

THE OHANAPECOSH RIVER IS NOT EVEN KIDDING IT IS GOING TO KILL YOU.

Seriously. Our reserved space was at a gorgeous little greenblue bend in a run of vicious white water. Even where it is relatively calm, this river hauls ass. There was no question of fishing the three year-old out of the water if she waded in. Shudder.

Thankfully we were able to move sites easily. Unfortunately, that seems to be due in part to the fact that Ohanapecosh Campground is very much designed for hikers. There were a couple of very short hikes at hand, but for the most part the campground seems to be designed to accomodate people taking longer, more strenuous hikes in the southeast corner of the park. Good for those people!

My kids were very bored.

This was also our first (very?! first?!) trip away from home as a family, and I will totally admit that it was awkward. My husband isn't used to being with the kids away from home, the kids were dealing with FIRSTEVERFAMILYCAMPINGTRIPSUPERFUNTIMEEXCITEMENT! and NOT BEING ABLE TO SLEEP BECAUSE OF THE NAP IN THE CAR ON THE WAY UP! and BEING BELIGERENT BECAUSE OF EXHAUSTION FROM NOT BEING ABLE TO SLEEP UNTIL 10 P.M. AND WAKING UP AT 6 A.M. ANYWAY! and THERE IS VERY LITTLE FOR SMALL CHILDREN TO DO HERE! sorts of moods and behaviors, which is not my husband's forte in any case, let alone when there is an open fire and a meal plan to stick to and Things To Get Into.

We also had to bring our dog.

And then the drive that took us two and a half hours in somehow ended up a (very scenic) six hours back. The girls fell apart in the last hour of the drive. It was rough.

The good news is, we went camping! I love camping. We went quite a bit with my mom and stepdad when I was a kid, and (thank all that is merciful, and my big sister for bringing me and the two girls on an extended family camping trip last Labor Day weekend) I didn't feel the least bit ill at ease about all the mechanics of the exercise. For car camping, our packing was minimal. We don't own a camp stove, camp chairs, nor sleeping bags for the girls, so we left the house with a tight regimen of nonperishable food, eating utensils, lights, our old one and two-man tents and the various sleeping things we cobbled together.

Even without being equipped with nice gear, everyone was comfortable, we ate well and no one got cold at night. Thank you, mom, for letting us sleep outdoors when we were young! I want my kids to experience camping and I'm grateful that it feels as easy and comfortable as it does.

Big mountain. Big, big mountain. Snowy mountain. Still snowy in July. No walking up it. D'oh! Bloody gorgeous scenery there and back again, though (this was the detour part of the trip, which unfortunately included rather an abundance of road work). 

All in all, yeah, we're doing it again. Next time will be even better. I will start gathering nice gear. And maybe doing some actual research on good places to take small children camping in the area. And arranging dog care.

But know this, my friends: I do not screw around with s'mores. I do not. Screw. Around.

Geek love

I found this post about things "men" supposedly hate about "women" super funny. The dysfunctional relationship dynamics, broken communication and total emotional illiteracy the original piece unintentionally speaks to are so far from the DNA of my own partnership (as it currently stands, let's not tempt fate with hubris) that they exist in an entirely different taxonomic kingdom.

What made me really laugh/cry for the poor guy that wrote the original article is that my husband and I have been doing a bit of negotiating around "me" time for him. Although, wait. I should get this out of the way before I proceed any further: to begin with, we're talking about an advice article on eHarmony here, and judging by his writing, the guy who wrote it resembles in no way any partnered, adult male that I personally know. He sounds more like some dudes I knew...well, maybe never. I'm pretty sure I have never have been actual friends with anyone that has such a funhouse mirror view of "women". Anyway. I absolutely "understand and/or like [his] need for alone time." Good gracious. I've been urging my dude out the door for some surfing or beers with some man-bros or whatever for years now. He's a homebody, though, and prefers to spend time with me and our kids (for reals, it's pretty sweet). 

But! He suddenly has a D & D game going with some wonderful guys, which is SO! GREAT! I'm stoked for him.

Except, the man-bro-geeks he's doing this with are accustomed to some pretty late nights, and we've been struggling to figure out if this works for us. I'm certainly willing to give up one night a week with him if it recharges him and gives him respite from the family cloister, but we're running into logistical issues: I have a very hard time sleeping when he's rolling in after 1 a.m. (I imagine this is what I get to look forward to with older teenagers), he's in need of sleeping in dramatically the next morning OR he needs a nap the following day OR he's passed out on the couch by 7 p.m. and any way you slice it he's kind of cranky all day. So you know what? Maybe this doesn't work out for him as a once a week, every week gig, because it doesn't work for our family.

You see, the thing is, guy from eHarmony, if someday you meet a pair of boobs you want to marry, presumably after you stop thinking that your "behavior" should be sufficient communication about any and all matters interpersonal, you'll have a totally different perspective on the place of "me" time in the ultimately interdependent web of family life. You might, like my awesome dude, say "I like hanging out, but this particular thing is pretty disruptive and puts an undue strain on you, so I don't mind giving it up." And because you've made a good, grown-up choice in the boobs you've married, those boobs will say "I really want this to work out for you, so let's try to figure out some solutions. Also I will be needing a regular ladies' karaoke night or a book club at some point in the very near future."

See how that works?

Adult. Relationship. It's awesomesauce.

If you're single and want some advice, I'll give you some: don't date that dude at eHarmony.